Religion and Shadow Work

I have had a curiosity for the dark my entire life and continue to dance in the shadows. My birth chart tells me I am a Scorpio Stellium with a Sun in Scorpio, a Moon in Virgo, and a Rising sign in Scorpio. I am American-born and descend from Puerto Rico. As a Self-Worship™ Coach, I guide women through the shadows and nurture them with self-worship rituals.

I grew up in the Bronx, New York, with a complicated comprehension of religion. Although I followed Catholic culture through baptism and communion, God was seldom discussed in my household. Instead of hanging crosses on the wall, black Santería dolls sat in chairs at my grandparents' home.

In my teens, I lived with my aunt – a devout Born Again Christian. Friday and Sunday were mandatory church days, including weekly bible study at home. This experience led me even further from an understanding of God with which I could relate.

When I was 25, I ended a six-year romantic relationship, lost and looking for a connection to faith. I found esotericism and spirituality on my journey and met a woman who introduced me to energy healing and crystals. By the time I was 27, I had practiced witchcraft, carved runes into candles, and facilitated tarot readings.

I bathed in Agua de Florida, wore crystals in my bra, and have taken part in sacrificial ceremonies with the help of a Santera. After all the effort it took to find me through religion, I realized I had to stop trying to make myself small to fit in.

I am grateful for my past, but it does not define me. It took time to understand that I can embody both dark and light. In my early thirties, I faced another kind of spiritual awakening. I lost myself once again—however, this time, abandoning myself for alcohol.

At my darkest hour, I questioned how I could betray myself and grappled with this certainty until I hit bottom in October 2016. For fear of death, I clung to my spirituality. But it was the death of my old self that was inevitable and necessary for my new self to emerge.

I believe there is a dire need for more shadow work, and it begins with the invitation of our darkness into the conscious realm. Through the integration of shadow work, I re-coded my subconscious thoughts and became ritualized in the act of Self-Worship™.

Today, I commune with the moon and connect with myself through soul dance, meditation, journaling, and crystal magick. As a shadow worker, I understand the manner of healing is a continual practice. I hope that when we connect, you feel seen, safe, and inspired.

I want you to feel like you are sharing your story with a friend who loves you. I will not hesitate to call you out on antiquated systems, but it will be with admiration for you and your process that I intend to empower you to worship yourself.

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